


I Can't Lose You

by Sometimes_Quickly_1811



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sometimes_Quickly_1811/pseuds/Sometimes_Quickly_1811
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A heartbreaking tale that follows Ali and her brother Kyle. When the worst thing happens, who will be the one to pull Ali out of the darkness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't felt inspired in awhile, which is why I always start stories and never finish them. Apologies. But I had this idea buzzing around in my head after watching the world's most sappy and heartbreaking movie ever. I blame my girlfriend. I needed to put my feelings somewhere, so I created this little...thing. I don't know what to call it. And I'm not sure where it's going to go from here. But let me know in the comments if you want to see more! ;) Much love.
> 
> P.S. Mind the warning ya'll

Ali Krieger and her brother Kyle were driving home from an intense training session at the Maryland Soccer Plex. Earlier in the day Ali had begged her brother to tag along so that she could use his camera to record her session. She needed any edge she could find. Watching film—her movements, her explosiveness, her overall physical condition, was one way for her to become the best. She could watch what her brother records later, and assess her performance based on what she knew the U.S. National Team was looking for.

Kyle had to roll his eyes. He knew his sister was overwhelmingly competitive, but he also knew call-ups were right around the corner, and Ali needed to be at her best if she wanted to make the roster. Although Kyle is aware that Ali is the best right back in the world right now, he knows she will never get complacent. He’s never seen another person work as hard as his sister does. Quite frankly, he’s never seen anyone more deserving of the spot than she. So he agrees to play along and be her film crew for the day.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

When a drunk driver runs the red light at their intersection, Ali’s entire world was flipped upside down. Crushed, bent, metal and shattered glass littered the road at the scene of the accident, and pools of sticky blood flooded the pavement.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The paramedic is pounding on the brunette’s chest in the ambulance as if his own life depends on it. _And maybe it does._ The incessant beeping and buzzing of the machines keeping the woman alive fill the back of the ambulance in an eerily calming rhythm. _As long as they’re beeping she’s still alive._ But her heartbeat is still unstable, the neon green lines spiking up and down in sharp waves flitter across the black screen. He uses the paddles in haste, hoping it isn’t too late for her as well. The paramedic watched the once spiking neon green wave ripple into nothingness. _A painfully, flat line._ The unmistakable noise fills his ears as he stares down at the woman, her shirt torn and bloodstained; much like her life will be if she survives.

But he is not letting another innocent person die. He snaps into action, placing the paddles on the brunette’s chest and hitting her again. _Nothing._ Again. _Nothing._ The paramedic and that menacing line caught in a stalemate of sorts. Again he fires up the paddles and does what he swore he’d never do; he closes his eyes and prays and he pushes the paddles into her chest once more.

The beeping picks up again. He watches the monitor as the green line comes to life slowly. Deep amber colored eyes blink cautiously at the paramedic. He quickly sees the caution turn into confusion and then, panic. The once lifeless brunette shoots up from the dead. And the gurney.

“Miss, please—“ the paramedic begins but is cut off by the frantic woman’s voice.

“My br…Kyle…my brother!” her weakened voice growing stronger with each word she tries to speak.

“Ma’am please, I need you to stay calm,” the paramedic continues. The two struggle back and forth. The brunette is fighting to push up against the paramedic’s resistance. Her eyes are darting around the ambulance, but she can’t seem to focus on anything.

“Kyle! Kyle! Please, my brother, where is my brother!” she’s full on yelling now in a complete frenzy. The paramedic’s heart breaks for her, but he knows that she’s in a weakened state and the stress will not do her well for recovery. After all, she was dead.

“Shh, it’s okay. Please just stay calm,” the paramedic says while reaching for an injection that will subdue the woman and keep her calm for the remainder of the ride.

“Kyle! No, please, he’s my brother,” she’s still trying to resist the paramedic. Yelling out for her brother while her eyes continue to adjust to the lighting in the ambulance. “Just tell me where he…” she begins to say, but it’s then, that she sees him.

The paramedic sits silently with his palms pressing against the woman’s shoulders as she tries to lean closer to the gurney that is positioned just across from her own.

“Kyle?” she softly calls out to her brother in question, expecting to hear his perky voice fill her ears one last time. “Ky!” this time her voice is slightly louder and she isn’t calling out in question, but rather demand. She needs to her his voice. She needs him to be okay.

The paramedic shifts slightly, which allows Ali to reach her arm out towards her brother. She sees his shirtless chest covered in angry wounds. A tear slips down her cheek. She sees the wires too, and follows the three cords up to her brother’s monitor that she notices is just a black screen. There is no green line. There is no fluctuation or beeping or buzzing. Just black. She grabs at his arm that is laying completely still next to his body, but tenses immediately.

“No,” she begins, more tears filling her eyes. “No, no, no, Kyle! Oh my god, please, Kyle! I’m sorry Kyle. I’m so sorry! Please, oh my god. Kyle…” she pleads and sobs in simultaneous hysterics.

The paramedic has time to inject the shot and Ali’s body begins to settle, but her mind never does find peace.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

“We are gathered today…” is all Ali hears until she fades into the blackness of everything around her. She doesn’t want it to be real.

She lets her mind run away.

_When the light turns green, Ali slowly presses on the accelerator. As the duo cruises through the intersection, a pair of blinding lights hits the right side of their faces. The brunette begins to think about ‘what kind of an asshole someone has to be to have their high beams on at an intersection.’ She glances to her right, just past Kyle’s smiling face when she sees it coming._

_A semi._

_And it isn’t stopping._

_The color drains from her face._

_The last thing she can remember is her sweet older brother’s voice in the background of her worst nightmare._

_“Ali?” he turns to face his sister just as the truck strikes the right side of their car._

XXXXXXXXXXX

“Ali?” she hears her name being called and looks up at the priest, standing before her brother’s casket with a worrisome expression.

“Huh…” Ali’s voice sounds devastated, her eyes bloodshot, her body nicked from the shredded metal of her car. She stands before the small gathering in a simple black dress that falls just above the knee. At her feet rests a worn out pink soccer ball, the scuffmarks and dirt telling of how much love the ball received.

  
“Ali, we’re ready,” the man speaks again, “you can put the ball in now,” he gestures to the top of the casket.

She picks up the ball and looks it over.

Everyone watches her.

“I’m sorry…I just can’t,” and with that Ali slips away from the service and retreats to her family’s car, tears streaming down her face.

She slides into the car and holds the ball tightly to her chest and curls forward, almost as if she’s hugging the pink ball.

The ball Kyle had given her for her 18th birthday.

The ball that symbolized the start of her career at Penn State.

The ball that remains the most valuable memory she has of Kyle.

The only one she wishes she could hold on to.  


	2. Chapter 2

It’s the middle of the night when Ali slips out of bed. She glances at the flashing red numbers on her alarm clock— _2:13am_.

“Some things never change,” she mumbles quietly, as if trying not to disturb a sleeping guest. But truthfully, it’s been quite some time since the brunette has enjoyed the company of another person, whether it be a friend or a romantic endeavor.

Ali moves to her closet and pulls on her brother’s oversized black hoodie and a pair of black compression pants. An even more familiar routine for the brunette. She shuffles out to her living room, grabbing her sneakers by the door and the keys sitting on the end table by her couch before heading out.

Just before she locks her door, she bends down, reaching inside to grab the worn pink soccer ball from so many years ago.

“Gotcha,” Ali says as she picks up the old friend and locks her apartment.

It’s 2:56am when she reaches her destination for the evening— _the Maryland Soccer Plex_.

“Alright buddy, this is our stop,” she says into the silence of her car. It’s as if she’s talking to someone sitting next to her, waiting for that person to respond. But nobody has occupied her passenger seat for five years. Instead, Ali looks down at the pink ball that rests in the seat and lets out a deep sigh.

She grabs her belongings and walks the same path she has made during many sleepless nights. Just under the stadium bleachers there is a small opening in the fence that she slides her body through. She never worries that someone will catch her for breaking onto private property. At one point in time this would have been her home. Now it’s just a distant memory of what could have been.

Like every night before, the brunette makes her way to the far end of the field and settles down under the goal. She lies on her back and stares up into the vast, night sky waiting for a sign.

She breaths deeply, closing her eyes and hugging her arms into her body for comfort. When she opens her eyes and watches the sky, she sees the twinkle of a bright star.

“Hi Kyle,” she breathes out evenly, confidently; as if she knows that’s him. That’s her sign.

“Jeeze girl, what took ya so long,” she hears the familiar male voice. A smirk plays across her lips and she moves to sit upright.

Standing before her, the most handsome and warm-hearted individual she’s ever known. She sees so much of herself in him. It almost makes looking into a mirror unbearable. She misses his high-pitched laugh, his _perfectly_ messy hair, his kind brown eyes, his beautiful and intricate tattoos. Nothing feels the same now that he’s gone.

“I see you haven’t changed,” Ali gestures to, not only his mannerisms, but his wardrobe as well. Dressed in all black, like always.

“I could say the same,” Kyle says in mock teasing, raising an eyebrow at his sister’s outfit.

“Shut up, it’s the middle of the night…” Ali begins, “…tell me why again I agreed to meet you here every night at 3am?” The duo chuckle together. It does seem ridiculous.

“You made me a promise, that’s why,” the brother says. Ali just nods her head.

“I can’t lose you Kyle,” she replies while Kyle helps her to her feet. He pulls her into his arms and Ali takes in the scent of expensive hair product and musky cologne.

“I miss you so much,” she says into her chest, eyes closed for fear that if she opens them tears will begin to pour down like waterfalls. 

“I miss you every day Al,” he responds softly, kissing her on top of her head.

Ali finally opens her eyes, wiping the tears that have slid down her cheeks.

She’s standing alone underneath the goal, hugging her arms around her own torso as if someone were standing in between them.

She shakes her head and grabs the pink soccer ball and lines up at the penalty line.

XXXXXXXXXXX

It’s a little after 5am when Ali finally makes it back to her apartment. She trudges through the front door, tired, but a little lighter than she was previously. The routine, though, is always the same. The emotional pain stills just long enough for her to think it might actually go away, but each night as she lay awake in bed, the inevitable reality creeps back in. It’s both haunting and exhausting.

Ali sinks down on her couch and tosses her arm across her eyes.

She releases a sigh and, much to her gratitude, slips into an easy sleep.

When she wakes, she checks her phone and sees that it’s almost 8am.

“Coffeeeee,” the brunette grunts half asleep as she pushes herself up, and off of the couch. She mindlessly grabs her car keys off of the end table and heads out the door. 

XXXXXXXXXXX

“Hi what can I get for you?” the barista says as Ali steps up to the counter. The brunette glances at the board through her thick-framed glasses.

“I’ll have a cappuccino please,” Ali answers the girl at the counter after a moment. 

The brunette pays and makes her way to a small table in the corner of the coffee shop. She likes this place; it’s quiet, artsy, and everyone is always super friendly. Though she never talks to any of them longer than necessary, she figures they’d be good company. 

“Ali!” she hears her name being called for her drink and she makes her way up to the counter. She grabs her cup and spins around carefully, making her way back to the table in the corner.

She rests her elbows on the table and places her head in her hands, staring down at the flower art on top of her steaming drink. Kyle was a huge fan of cappuccino art. He believed there something beautiful in the simplicity of it all. Ali never really understood, but it made her feel closer to him in a way. Like she was sharing the drink with him right now, and not sitting alone at a table.

“I wish…” Ali mumbles quietly to herself, but pauses, thinking better than to request the impossible.

She shakes her head and brings the mug to her lips. Just as she takes her first sip, she hears someone clear their throat, as if they’re trying to get her attention. She looks up and locks eyes with the most beautiful hazel eyes she’s ever seen. Not that she’s been the most social person in the last five years.

“Is this seat taken?” the hazel eyes have a voice, and it’s equally as beautiful. The woman motions to the seat across from Ali.

“O-Oh, uhm no, no it’s not,” the brunette responds in a shaky voice.

The woman just stares down at Ali with a small smirk on her face as her hand hovers over the empty chair.

“Oh!” Ali says suddenly, “You can sit, I mean if you want that is.”

“Thanks,” the woman with the beautiful hazel eyes responds with a smile. Ali takes a moment to let her eyes wander. The woman sat across from her has platinum blonde hair that makes her flawless bone structure pop. She has a gorgeous sleeve of tattoos that reminds her of her brother’s. And she’s also wearing all black, which also reminds her of her brother. She pauses for a moment, wondering if this is a joke. It almost feels like she has her brother back, in female form, sitting across from her and sharing a coffee.

“So…I’m Ashlyn,” the blonde says and she sticks her hand out for Ali to take. The brunette obliges quickly, which makes the other woman smile.

“Ali,” she replies with a shy smile.

“It’s nice to meet you Ali,” Ashlyn says with a smile of her own. “But I have to ask what a girl like you is doing having coffee alone?”

Ali feels her cheeks begin to flush. It’s been a long time since anyone has paid her a real compliment, let alone someone as attractive as Ashlyn.

“I, uh, don’t really know,” the brunette responds softly.

“You’re very beautiful,” Ashlyn wastes no time when it comes to getting the point across.

Ali just stares at the blonde, whose eyes are sparkling in the morning sunlight.

“Look Ashlyn…” Ali begins to say, but is cut short.

“You can call me Ash,” the blonde says.

“Okay, Ash…I don’t…I’m not really…” the brunette tries to get the words out, but the blonde once again beats her to it.

“Shit, I read that all wrong didn’t I?” she begins to say. “You have a boyfriend don’t you?” Ali can tell Ash is embarrassed now, and the look on the blonde’s face is totally endearing. She looks terrified.

“No it’s not that! You read it right, I’m just, not very exciting,” Ali says shyly.

The blonde cocks her head to the side like a confused puppy.

“It’s just a friendly coffee, Ali,” the blonde says with a smirk.

“Right, sorry,” the brunette responds.

“But I did mean what I said, you are beautiful,” Ash says confidently, but in a way that doesn’t make Ali feel pressured or uncomfortable.

“Thank you,” the brunette begins, “so are you,” she finishes as she lets her gaze meet hazel eyes.

Ash smiles and Ali wonders how she missed the dimple that appears in her left cheek. It’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen.

“That’s adorable,” she finds herself saying out loud and quickly cups a hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

“Well I better go before the mystery and excitement dies!” the blonde says with a small laugh and a smile.

Ali laughs as well, something she hasn’t done in what feels forever. In reality, five years _can_ feel like forever.

Ali watches as Ash takes the last sip of her coffee and heads for the door. She wonders if she’ll ever see the beautiful blonde woman again, and finds herself hoping that she does.

“Wait!” Ali calls out. “How can I find you again?” she asks so softly Ash almost doesn’t hear her.

“I’ll be around, you’ll find me,” the blonde says with a wink and disappears into the morning sunlight. 

Ali leans back into her chair and sighs, but this time her sigh comes from a place of happiness.

“Thank you Kyle."


	3. Chapter 3

Three days after meeting Ashlyn, Ali finds herself stuck in the same middle-of-the-night routine. Her mind is racing as she tosses and turns in her plush, queen-size bed. The fluffy, down comforter pulled up to her chin. She rolls to one side facing her nightstand and stares at the alarm clock: _2:58am._

“Whyyy,” the brunette whines through slightly parted lips.

Rolling out of bed, she notices something particularly different about her thoughts tonight than any other night from the last five years. The thing, or rather person, that stands at the forefront of her thoughts tonight, for once, is not her brother. It’s not that she misses him any less than she has past nights, or loves him any less than she did when he was still alive. It’s that, miraculously, someone else has caught her attention enough to ease her aching heart and mind long enough to distract her from the pain of her brother’s death. And although she wishes she could have one night of normal sleep, she’s almost relieved that she can associate the sleepless night with something positive, and not the guilt she feels so deeply from the events that occurred that night.

Before she can stop herself, Ali pulls herself out of bed and makes her way to her closet like so many nights before. With her eyes half closed, the brunette feels the familiar soft material of her brother’s black hoodie before pulling it on. She finishes getting dressed and heads for her car.

XXXXXXXXXXX

“I really need you right now Kyle,” Ali breathes out as she lay underneath the same goal she always chooses. She lets out a sigh and curls into a ball, letting the emotions she feels wash through her.

“Well hunny why didn’t you just say something?” the familiar male voice appears.

Ali jolts upright, surprised to hear Kyle’s voice, as if they haven’t been meeting at the soccer field every night since he passed.

“Kyle...” Ali whispers as she stares at her brother who is standing before her in the same outfit that he’s worn every night previously; the same outfit he had on the day of the accident.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything babe,” he begins to say, “I already know.”

“Already know?” Ali questions, quirking an eyebrow.

“Girl don’t act like I don’t see it all…” Kyle says with a chuckle, “…you and Ashlyn…” he pauses, waiting for his sister to finish his sentence.

“Yeah okay, I met someone,” Ali replies evenly.

“And?” he asks with a smirk.

“Kyle stop it,” she says, “don’t try to play matchmaker for me.”

“Listen, I’m just saying it’s been awhile and she seems like the real deal.”

“It was just a coffee,” Ali says with a classic eye roll.

“It could be more if you’d stop wallowing all the time,” he points out sassily, standing with his hands on his hips like his old drama queen self.

“Kyleeee,” Ali whines, giggling at his posture.

He continues to hold his pose, now raising an eyebrow at his sister, silently asking her to explain herself.

“You know why I can’t,” she says in a whisper, but loud enough so that he can still hear her.

“Al, it’s been five years…” he says and moves closer to his sister, pulling her into a hug. She breathes in his scent, reminiscing about happier times when he was still around. If she closes her eyes it’s almost as if he’s still really here.

“I think you need to talk to someone, or at least, try to talk to Ashlyn,” he tells his sister.

“But…” Ali begins, only to be cut off by Kyle.

“It doesn’t have to be about me,” he quickly adds, “but you need to open yourself up to someone again. Talk about women, or work, or politics; I don’t know, just anything.”

Ali pulls back to look into familiar brown eyes and she can tell he’s serious. She knows it’s a good idea too; it’s been too long since she’s had a genuine conversation with anyone other than her dead brother.

“Fine, you win,” she says, “you always do,” and with that he’s vanished. She looks around at the empty field and up into the night sky.

A star twinkles brightly in the distance, reminiscent of a playful wink, and it’s then that she knows Kyle is always watching over her.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Ali decides to test her luck and go to the same coffee shop she did three days ago. She walks through the front door, consumed in her own thoughts about what she’s going to order and if she’s going to Ashlyn today, or ever again. She’s jarred from her thoughts when she slams into the back of someone and stumbles backwards.

“Careful!” the person calls out, gripping Ali’s waist to save the brunette any further embarrassment of falling. Ali instinctually latches onto the person’s biceps to steady herself. The two look cozy, cradled in each other’s arms, but the shock of the situation quickly wears off and Ali looks up to meet her savior’s eyes.

Hazel.

“Uhm, hi Ashlyn,” Ali squeaks out embarrassed by their current position. She hasn’t been touched so...intimately by another person in a long time. That is, if you don’t count her brother’s hugs every night she visits him at the soccer field.

“Hello again beautiful, are you alright?” the blonde starts with a smile, but quickly shifts her voice to that of tender concern.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m good,” Ali says, releasing her grip on Ashlyn’s biceps, which she notes are more defined than she imagined.

Ash lets Ali step back to catch her footing, but is quick to wrap an arm around her waist, holding her palm flat to the brunette’s lower back in a comforting touch. Ali notices and tenses, not because she doesn’t like it, but because she _does_ like it.

Ash notices too, but thinks the gesture was too much, too soon and removes her hand. Ali let’s out a sigh of relief. The blonde makes her stomach erupt with butterflies, a sensation that she hasn’t felt in years.

“So, uhm, what brings you in today?” the blonde asks, a slight shyness to her voice this time when she speaks.

Ali smiles and answers simply, “coffee, duh.” The blonde laughs at her statement. The brunette does seem tired and in desperate need of a good pick-me-up.

“That I can do for you,” the blonde answers with a dimpled smile. Ali watches as the blonde walks away and slips behind the counter. She playfully shoves the barista out of the way, and they share giggles with each other, clearly comfortable. Ali watches on, confused about how the two know each other, and why Ashlyn is making her coffee. Nonetheless, she lets the blonde continue and can’t help but find the nature of the situation a turn on.

For Ali, there’s nothing like a woman that can make a good cup of coffee.

XXXXXXXXXX

“Alright, here you are,” Ashlyn says as she hands Ali a tiny glass mug filled to the brim with the sweetest smelling coffee, adorned with flower art.

“This little glass is so cute!” Ali says as she carefully takes the drink from the blonde’s hands and moves to sit at the same table from three days ago.

“Yeah, classic cortado cup for ya,” the blonde says with a little laugh and a smile.

“Oh she’s so fancy,” the brunette shoots with a wink, feeling a little more comfortable suddenly.

“Only the best for you,” the blonde starts, “…and don’t worry, I’ll get you a real flower when I take you on our first date,” Ashlyn finishes speaking, sounding as if Ali has already agreed.

Ali looks up at the blonde, her cheeks flush from the comment that she wasn’t expecting. She would love to be able to go on a date, but she just doesn’t feel like it’s right.

“Oh, wow…” Ali starts to say and immediately sees the blonde’s face drop.

“I-I’m sorry, that was too forward of me,” Ashlyn says, retracting her previous statement.

“No no, it’s not that!” Ali says. “I just, it’s just…been awhile.”

The blonde immediately relaxes again, hopeful in her chances with the brunette sitting before her. She smiles softly, her hazel eyes shining brightly in the morning sun.

“It’s okay Ali, we all have to get back in the game sometime,” she tells her with a kind, understanding voice.

Ali leans back in her chair, finishing the last of her cortado, pondering everything the blonde had just said. She knows Ash is right, that she has to start somewhere. Her words sound oddly familiar to Kyle’s, and that’s what seals the deal.

 _“…you need to open yourself up to someone again,”_ Ali replays her brother’s words in her head. She makes her decision.

“Okay,” the brunette says softly, looking into Ashlyn’s beautiful hazel eyes. She thinks she could get lost in them for hours, finding new colorful adventures around every corner.

The blonde perks up instantly, as if slightly surprised.

“Okay?” Ash asks slowly for confirmation.

“Yeah I’ll give you a shot,” Ali answers back playfully.

“I don’t think you’ll regret it,” the blonde begins, “…can I get your number?”

Ali and Ash exchange phone numbers so that the blonde can text her this weekend with details about their date. Ali can’t help but feel like the blonde is her answer, the answer she’s been looking for, the answer that she’s need for the past five years.

“So I’ll text you, okay?” Ash says as she stands, smiling down at the brunette.

Ali smiles thinking how lucky she is. For only just meeting the blonde a few days ago, Ali feels comfortable. Ashlyn never mentioned why Ali was wearing the same outfit as she was a few days ago, although it’s clearly noticeable. The brunette sensed that Ashlyn is the type of girl to look at someone for more than their physical appearance. And for that, she is so grateful.

“Ali?” the blonde calls out again, “Did you hear me?”

“What?” Ali says snapping back to the conversation. “I’m sorry, yes please text me. 

“As you wish,” Ashlyn says as she makes her way to the front door of the coffee shop.

“Wait!” Ali calls out, immediately thinking about how familiar the whole thing feels. Ashlyn stops mid-reach for the door handle, and turns around to face the brunette.

“How did you know how to make this?” Ali says glancing at he empty drink, and then back up at Ashlyn.

Ashlyn just smiles that adorable dimpled smile that Ali is growing seriously fond of.

“The owner never shares her secrets,” Ashlyn winks at Ali and makes her way through the coffee shop door, disappearing into the morning sunlight once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys are thinking! A couple have commented so far and that really motivates me to keep writing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this chapter out, to follow through with this story. I've been traveling a lot and had a really terrible flight last night and I was exhausted today, so if there's typos or mistakes, I do apologize. I didn't have time to edit or read through a second time. This is all written in one shot.

It’s Saturday afternoon and Ali is pacing around her apartment, anxiously waiting for a text from a certain blonde. She’s not sure when to expect Ashlyn’s message, and as the minutes tick by she wonders if she’s been forgotten.

Ali can’t help but feel that intense panic in her gut. The same panic she felt when she saw two bright headlights shining at her like evil eyes. The same panic she felt when her car was crushed into from the passenger side, causing it to flip and roll through the intersection, shattering glass and metal spraying the road. The same panic she felt when she came to in the ambulance, calling out for her missing brother. The same panic she felt when she finally saw him lying motionless on the gurney, covered in cuts and dried blood. The same panic she felt when his casket was being lowered into the grave.

He’s gone.

And it feels as if everyone around her has forgotten him.

Forgotten _her_.

Forgotten what they’ve both been through.

The guilt Ali feels for her brother’s death consumes her day and night, and it is only when she visits him at the soccer field in the middle of the night that she feels like he hasn’t been forgotten.

That _she_ hasn’t been forgotten.

That someone, or something, is still fighting for them even when it seems nobody else is.

XXXXXXXXXXX

A light buzz pulls Ali out of her thoughts. She reaches for her phone with lightning speed and notices the _unknown_ name pop up on her screen accompanying a text that says, “ _Hello beautiful date. It’s Ash.”_

The brunette quickly unlocks her screen to save her as a new contact. As she does, she thinks about a reply to the blonde’s message. Her fingers are shaking over the keyboard, nervously trying to type out a witty response without sounding too desperate.

“Fuck it,” the brunette mumbles to herself and takes a deep breath.

_“Well, hello to you too, gorgeous. I was wondering if I would hear from you today.”_

Sent.

Ali throws her phone on the couch, running through her apartment with excitement and anxiety coursing through her veins. She hasn’t been this forward with someone in…at least five years. _Five years._ There’s that constant nagging reminder that eats away at her soul. It remains the reason _why_ she hasn’t been able to have an intimate relationship with someone, form at least one solid friendship, or just hold a decent, genuine conversation with a stranger.

In all honesty, Ali is afraid.

Not for herself. Not for fear that she will be hurt; that she will, again, lose something she loves so deeply.

She’s afraid for _them_.

She hasn’t opened up much about her brother’s death and how that has affected her life. She knows she needs to, but every time the opportunity comes along, she closes up, afraid of judgment. The truth is that she feels like the woman with the Midas touch. Except everything she touches _does not_ turn to gold. It dies. The guilt she holds deep in her heart over Kyle’s death ripples through her body like shock waves. Some days she can barely keep her head above the water.

How do you begin to explain the promise you made with your dead brother? The meet-ups every night at the same soccer field you spent his final days training on.

If she hadn’t kicked a ball.

If she hadn’t played DI soccer.

If she hadn’t been recruited into the NWSL.

If she hadn’t been training for National Team camp.

If she hadn’t begged him to go with her.

If she hadn’t…

Kyle would be alive.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_“Someone’s in good spirits I see ;)”_

Ali reads the blonde’s text and smiles. It’s always going to be hard, she knows that. But Ash is the first person to make everything feel okay.

 _“Just glad you didn’t stand me up :p”_ Ali types her reply back quickly.

The two chat back and forth for an hour, teasing one another and giggling like schoolgirls in love. Ali hasn’t felt this light and free in a long time, and she is more certain now that Ash might just save her.

 _“I have an idea. Pick you up in 20 minutes okay?”_ Ali reads the blonde’s text.

20 minutes isn’t a long time to prepare for this date, and she’s beginning to wonder if it was a good idea after all. She feels an intense desire to make a good impression on Ashlyn, like if she doesn’t her whole world might crumble and slip through the cracks.

 _“Don’t stress beautiful. Dress casual. See you soon.”_ Ali reads the text again, blinking.

It’s as if Ash knows her already.

 _“How’d you know I was panicking? ;) I’ll be ready!”_ Ali responds and races off to get changed.

When there’s a knock from outside her apartment door, Ali quickly makes her way down the hall, checking herself over in the mirror several times. After all, this will be the first time Ash sees Ali in actual clothing and not looking like a hobo at a funeral.

The brunette takes a deep breath and opens the door.

XXXXXXXXXX

“Hi beautiful,” Ali hears the blonde say through a bouquet of colorful wildflowers that have been thrust in her direction to take.

“Ash…these are beautiful,” she says. “Thank you so much.”

The flowers are amazing, and such a sweet gesture that she wasn’t prepared for, even though Ash warned her. She brings them to her nose and inhales, closing her eyes while doing so.

“I’m glad you like them,” she hears Ash speak again.

“I do,” Ali says, “come inside real quick while I put these in a vase.”

The two move through the apartment together. Ali goes into the kitchen to give the flowers a proper home, while Ash shuffles cautiously about the living room. The blonde takes in the décor of Ali’s apartment, and is surprised by how sad everything seems.

The colors of the walls, the lack of pictures, the greys and whites melancholy blues that seem to flitter throughout the room. It doesn’t feel lived in to the blonde, but she doesn’t say anything.

“You ready to go?” Ali asks as she walks back into the living room. Ashlyn smiles at her, having the opportunity to appreciate the brunette’s outfit.

Ali decided to wear black skinny jeans, a flowy white crop top and white converse. Her hair is pulled into a messy bun, but Ash thinks it’s the sexiest thing she’s ever seen.

“You look…wow,” the blonde breathes out, completely disregarding Ali’s question.

The brunette blushes at Ash’s compliment, but quickly regains her composure.

“You look ‘wow’ yourself,” Ali says with a smile that makes her nose crinkly cutely. The blonde thinks she might pass out before they even get to the date part of their day.

“Right, thanks,” Ash clears her throat embarrassed for staring so long. “Shall we?”

She offers her arm to Ali and the brunette happily takes it.

XXXXXXXXXXX

They arrive at their date destination, and Ash scurries out of the car to open Ali’s door for her. She extends her hand to the brunette and Ali shyly takes hold.

“Are you ready for the best date ever?” Ash asks, smiling down at Ali.

Ali can’t help but smile back. That dimple melts her icy heart just a little more each time she sees it.

“Yeah, I think I finally am,” Ali answers confidently, letting the blonde lead her down a paved, tree-lined path at one of her favorite parks.

The two walk hand in hand, cautious of each other’s body language as to not push things too far too soon. The date has just begun, but Ali’s already feeling like she’s on top of the world. She grips Ashlyn’s bicep with her free hand, while the other one remains intertwined with long, slim fingers. She hasn’t felt so comfortable with another person in a long time, and she never wants the feeling to end. 

As they continue down the path towards their actual destination, where a surprise is waiting, the two share laughs, and smiles, and warm touches. The sun shines brightly in the late afternoon and Ali is, something she hasn’t been in years, hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual date is up next! I hope you're all still enjoying this. I promise to finish this story, but you have to let me know what you like, dislike, etc etc. Tell me what's on your mind! 
> 
> Just another note, I've thought about two ways this story could play out. There's an off-the-wall route, or there's a more simple route. If you have ideas or suggestions or preferences in story plot, I'm all ears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the date. I think it's kind of short, but it'll be worth it next chapter ;) I may or may not have part 2 of their date written by tomorrow sometime.

The blonde leads Ali down the wooded path, heart full of excitement and nervous energy. When she told Ali that ‘everyone needs to get back in the game sometime,’ she was also speaking on behalf of herself. Though it hasn’t been as long as five years, Ashlyn’s recent romantic interests have both crashed, and burned, leaving her to dwell in loneliness.

When she spoke to Ali for the first time, she thought it would be a long shot, that the brunette would be uninterested or unavailable. Much to her surprise, Ali was everything but that. She was quiet, shy even, but Ashlyn knew there was something unspoken behind Ali’s closed-off exterior that was worth getting to know. Truth be told, the blonde has never felt so captivated by another person’s aura before. When she walked through the doors of her coffee shop that morning, she felt a force pulling her in Ali’s direction. It was indescribable really. If she knew any better, she would’ve thought someone was pushing her body toward Ali from behind. Perhaps the brunette looked familiar to Ashlyn and that was the reason she was attracted to Ali. Deep in her gut she felt a tug.

Ashlyn can’t quite place it, but the sense of familiarity is there.

Eerily enough.

XXXXXXXXXX

Having lived in this area for so long, Ali is surprised she doesn’t recognize where they’re headed. She’s been to this park hundreds of times with Kyle, but never this specific part. Her eyes scan the trees, taking in the springtime surroundings.

She’s also taking in her more immediate surroundings, which happen to be tall and blonde and extremely gorgeous. Ali’s eyes scan down the blonde’s body, taking in the woman’s all-black wardrobe and tattoos. Ali might feel intimidated by Ashlyn if the blonde weren’t such a sweetheart. She’s the complete opposite of what Ali expected when they initially met, not that she had anything against Ashlyn’s appearance.

Ali just didn’t expect her voice to be so soft and soothing.  

Or her hand to feel this gentle in her own.

Or her body to feel like Ali’s personal safe haven.

The brunette is so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t hear Ashlyn interrupt their silent walk.

“Earth to Ali, come in, over,” she hears Ashlyn say in a mock walkie-talkie voice. Ali giggles at the blonde’s goofy sense of humor.

“I’m here I’m here, sorry!” Ali says through another laugh. The blonde squeezes her hand before releasing it.

“Good, cause we have arrived,” the blonde says gesturing to a small foot trail that seemed to emerge out of nowhere.

Hesitance and sarcasm mix in the brunette’s response. “Is this where you kill me and leave my body?”

Ashlyn laughs harder than she probably should, but grips Ali’s wrist gently and pulls her closer.

“Trust me, you’ll want to alive for this,” she says. “Now come on!” With that, Ashlyn sets off into the woods with Ali right behind her.

Ali lets Ashlyn take her hand and lead her through the woods. The path is so small that they can only fit one behind the other, but the blonde turns around every couple of steps to make sure Ali is okay. It’s completely and utterly adorable. The brunette can’t help but smile, imagining the cute picture she could snap from this angle. As much as she wants to, she refrains and just enjoys the moment.

She’s learned to do that a lot over the past five years.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ali nearly bumps into Ashlyn’s back when the blonde stops abruptly. Ali looks around noticing that they are still in the middle of the woods, even after a ten minute walk.

“I’m gunna need you to put this on beautiful,” the blonde says, dangling a red bandana in front of Ali’s eyes.

“Uhm…” is all the brunette can think to say at the moment.

“Trust me Ali, the surprise is just ahead,” Ashlyn says with a smile, her dimple convincing Ali that wearing the bandana is a good idea.

“Okay, can you tie it for me?” Ali says shyly.

“Turn around,” the blonde says softly, and gently ties the bandana so that Ali can’t see.

“Okay, you’re going to lead,” Ashlyn whispers in her ear, sending immediate chills down the brunette’s spine. The blonde can feels the hairs standing up on Ali’s neck and smirks.

“Uhm…” another golden response from Ali. Ashlyn laughs, shaking her head at how cute the brunette can be without even realizing it.

“I’ve got you, don’t worry,” Ash says, gently placing her hands on Ali’s waist and giving her a little push forward.

“You better not let go,” Ali says without even thinking about what she’s suggesting.

“Somehow, I think I can manage that request,” the blonde says teasingly.

The two walk together, Ashlyn’s hands glued to Ali’s hips, for a short distance before the blonde stops them.

“Okay are you ready?” Ali hears the soft voice whisper in her ear again. Before the brunette can reply she feels the bandana being untied from her eyes.

“Ashlyn…” Ali breathes out in wonderment. She takes a careful step forward, like if she moves too quickly everything before her will disappear into darkness.

“Do you like?” the blonde asks softly, coming up behind Ali so their bodies are just barely touching. Ashlyn thinks it’s fun to tease the brunette, so she doesn’t push their body contact any further. She wants to Ali to make the next move.

“How did you…this is…perfect,” Ali finally says, stumbling over her words in pure amazement. Turning back to the blonde she says, “Nobody has ever done anything this nice for me before.”

Ashlyn smiles, exposing her famous dimple.

She grabs Ali’s hand and pulls her into the clearing where there is a large, fluffy comforter spread out. Next to the blanket, Ali sees a basket that appears to be filled with various foods and a bottle of what looks to be champagne.

“After you,” the blonde says, gesturing for Ali to sit down first on the blanket.

“So chivalrous,” Ali replies, smiling up at Ashlyn. She lets the blonde get their picnic set up while she scans her surroundings. It’s then that she spots the twinkling lights hung above their heads in some of the tree limbs. Everything feels and looks picture perfect to Ali. When the brunette hears the soft hum of her favorite acoustic musician, she _knows_ the date is picture perfect.

XXXXXXXXXXX

After finishing their meals that Ashlyn prepared, the brunette was eager to move into the dessert round. She felt a sense of comfort with the blonde that has been missing in her life ever since Kyle had passed. She wished so badly that it didn’t have to be this way, that she didn’t have to meet Ashlyn under these circumstances.

But it is this way.

And it is under these circumstances.

And Kyle is never coming home.

She can’t change the past, even if, for the past five years, that’s all she’s ever hoped for. And now, sitting in the most serene setting with Ashlyn, she wonders what she hopes for.

_Would it be Kyle?_

_Or would it be Ashlyn?_

She doesn’t want to think about it because she’s afraid of who her answer will be. But she fears that if she doesn’t choose, the guilt will consume her, swallowing her whole with no remorse.

“Ali?” she hears the soft voice of an angel. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Sorry…” Ali says shaking her thoughts out. “Just spaced out for a second.”

“Is something wrong?” the blonde says with full concern in her glowing hazel eyes.

“No, of course not,” Ali responds. “This is perfect…you’re perfect.”

Ashlyn blushes for the first time since Ali’s met her. She finds the blonde even more adorable than before and she can’t help but reach over and pinch the woman’s cheek playfully.

“Oh no, not you too!” Ash says with laughter.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Ali says with a wink, trying to dissolve the possible awkwardness of her space cadet brain.

“You know what else is irresistible?” Ashlyn asks with a smirk and sparkle in her eye.

“What?” Ali looks up at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Strawberries…with champagne,” the blonde says holding up both items in her hands. Ali can’t help but fall backwards onto the blanket in a fit of giggles.

“You’re such a jerk you know that?” the brunette says, while directing her world-famous eye roll at the blonde.

“Mm…I don’t know…I hear I’m pretty _perfect_ ,” Ash says with a wink of her own.

“Okay okay, you win,” Ali begins to say, “but I have a better idea for those,” she finishes, nodding towards the contents in the blonde’s hands.

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” Ash asks curiously.

“Why don’t we move this lunchtime picnic into an appropriate setting for the…evening,” Ali suggests with a slight glimmer in her amber colored eyes.

“Lead the way beautiful,” Ash says without missing a beat.

The two quickly pack up their picnic and make the trek back through woods and out to Ashlyn’s car.

On the way they can’t help but think to themselves.

_“I have a feeling it’s gunna be a long night…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! And if you have any predictions for what may happen on their date, part 2...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was longer than anticipated. I probably should've broken this up into 2 separate chapters, but it all kind of goes together. Enjoy the long chapter. Hope you're ready ;)

The tension in the air is thick as Ali and Ashlyn walk the stairs to the brunette’s apartment. Neither is sure what tonight will bring, but the bottle of unopened champagne and box of strawberries in Ashlyn’s hands will not go unused this evening. That, they know for sure. The women both shuffle nervously through the front door, butterflies erupting in Ali’s stomach as she thinks about the unfamiliar, uncharted territory before her. She sets her keys down on the end table and moves further into the living room. The butterflies are, at this point, bursting with color and have spread through the brunette’s entire body. She can feel the flutter of their wings in her fingertips and toes, the anxious patter of their flight zooming wildly through her veins. She inhales deeply, trying to calm her racing heart.

The last time the brunette was intimate with anyone was just before the accident. From that moment forward, Ali was quick to put an end to any kind of romantic advance she ran into. She feared that her undying bond with Kyle would be compromised by another person’s presence. If Ali let herself be consumed by someone other than Kyle, she knew he would disappear forever. How could she let herself feel alive with someone else when she’s the reason her best friend, her brother, is dead?

Just then she feels a pair of gentle, but strong, hands on her shoulders. She’s so conflicted on what to do, but Ashlyn is so sweet and charming. It’s infectious really, especially to have someone care for you so deeply after just meeting.

“Should I open it?” Ali hears the blonde whisper close to her ear, directing their attention to the champagne.

“Yeah, let me get the opener for you,” Ali answers sweetly. When she re-enters the room she finds Ashlyn plopped down on the couch with her shoes off. She smiles at the sight of another person filling up her usually lonely apartment.

“Please, sit down and take your shoes off,” Ali says sarcastically to tease the blonde. Ashlyn jumps up with a sheepish grin on her face.

“Sorry, I have a tendency to do that,” she answers ducking her head in embarrassment.

“It’s really okay, I think it’s cute,” Ali says with a shy smile. Hazel eyes lock on deep brown ones momentarily.

“Here I got us glasses,” the brunette said clearing her throat after a moment. She walks over to the couch and sits down, patting the space next to her.

“Now who’s the one with the fancy glasses?” Ashlyn asks playfully.

Ali rolls her eyes at the woman sitting next to her. “Hush and pour the bubbly.”

“As you wish beautiful,” the blonde answers. The two share a look as Ashlyn finishes filling their flutes.

“Wait!” Ali just about yells as Ashlyn takes the glass to her lips.

“You really have to stop doing that,” Ashlyn feigns heart palpitations, holding her hand over her chest in fright.

“Sorry…”Ali begins in a softer voice, “but we didn’t cheers.” The blonde breaks out into her dimpled smile, Ali’s favorite thing to see.

“Okay…what should we cheers to?” Ashlyn asks.

“Hmm…how about…uhm…new beginnings?” Ali asks shyly. This makes Ashlyn smile even wider, if that’s possible.

“To new beginnings…and ever-lasting memories,” the blonde remarks and Ali smiles. They clink their flutes together and take a long sip.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The empty champagne bottle is knocked haphazardly onto the floor when Ashlyn shoots up from her seat next to Ali.

“This is my song!” the blonde exclaims with over-the-top enthusiasm. Ali tosses her head back in a fit of laughter as the blonde jumps up onto the couch with an open bottle of wine in her hand, doing her best to not spill the contents on the brunette’s head. They’re both laughing through Ashlyn’s rendition of Elastic Heart as she uses the bottle of wine as a mic. Her voice sounds terrible and raspy from practically screaming the lyrics, but Ali is living for every moment. She finds the blonde’s carefree attitude contagious and heartwarming.

“Ali, come on!” Ashlyn yells over the music bursting from the speakers in the apartment. She holds her hand out towards the brunette, asking her to take it.

“No way!” Ali calls back, laughing at how ridiculous the scene is.

“Come on, pleaseeeee,” Ashlyn gives Ali her best puppy dog eyes and the brunette almost caves.

“No way Ash, I’m an even worse singer than you!” Ali shouts back, putting her hand up to stop the blonde’s eyes from begging her.

At Ali’s comment, the blonde’s jaw drops and a playful glint flashes in her eyes.

“I know you did not just dis my singing…” the blonde lets her words hang in the air between them. Ashlyn starts to step closer to Ali, and the brunette gets a bad feeling.

“Ash…Ashlyn don’t even…” Ali responds, starting to inch back further on the couch away from the blonde. The woman’s hands are outstretched toward Ali, and the brunette can feel an attack coming.

“I wonder…how ticklish you are…” the blonde says before she lunges on top of Ali and digs her fingers into the brunette’s sides. Ali lets out a squeal and bursts into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. She tries to push the blonde away, but Ash quickly grabs Ali’s flailing and free limbs and holds them tightly with one of her own hands.

“Ash…s-stoppp!” Ali yells out breathlessly from laughing so hard. But the blonde doesn’t relent.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you…what did you say?” Ash says back giggling at Ali’s expense. The brunette tries to roll Ashlyn off of her with her own hips, but the blonde is straddling her. The position would make Ali blush if she weren’t so focused on breathing through the pain of the blonde’s tickles.

“Please Ash!” Ali gets out through broken up laughter, and finally, after struggling against her long enough, the blonde stops.

“Okay okay, you’re lucky you’re cute,” Ashlyn says and swings her leg over the brunette to stand up.

Ali smiles at her comment, and she moves to a sitting position on the couch. She stares at Ashlyn as the blonde walks over to her phone, which is plugged into Ali’s speaker set. She hears the intense beat of the music pause.

“Make a deal with me,” she hears Ashlyn say. Ali smiles at the spontaneity of it all.

“Okay…” Ali says, waiting for the blonde to continue.

“I’m going to shuffle my playlist, and the next song that comes on you have to dance with me,” the blonde says with a smirk.

Ali thinks about it a moment before throwing caution to the wind, “deal.”

Ashlyn holds her phone out, as to show Ali she isn’t cheating in any type of way, and she taps her finger over the shuffle button.

When Ali hears the music begin to play, she isn’t sure how to feel. The sound of soft strumming starts to play through the speakers.

“You made a deal,” Ashlyn says walking towards Ali, holding her hand out for the brunette to take. Ali looks up at the blonde nervously, but takes her hand anyways.

They move to where there’s more space and Ashlyn wraps one arm low around Ali’s waist, her other arm occupied by Ali’s right hand. She pulls them impossibly close, smiling as she stares down into Ali’s amber eyes. They let their bodies move naturally with the delicate sway of the music. _Tenerife Sea_ hums throughout Ali’s apartment as the women stay wrapped up in each other’s embrace, dancing together like a couple would on their wedding day. When the brunette’s nervousness subsides, she leans forward just slightly, resting her against Ashlyn’s chest. Completely lost in the music and moment, she releases her grip on Ashlyn’s hand and wraps it around the blonde’s back. Ali hadn’t realized how much she missed hugs until this moment. When she feels Ashlyn pull her closer, she also feels her heart swell and pump furiously.

As the song plays through the second chorus, Ali hears the blonde’s soft voice whispering the melody in her ear.

_“And should this be the last thing I see_

_I want you to know it’s enough for me_

_Cause all that you are is all that I’ll ever need…”_

Ali doesn’t know when it happens, but suddenly she feels warm tears running down her cheeks. She feels embarrassed by the outburst of emotion, and tucks her face further in the blonde. But of course, like the most sensitive human on earth, Ashlyn comes to the rescue.

“Hey, Ali what’s wrong,” she asks with a voice full of worry, pulling back from the brunette slightly. Ali doesn’t lift her head though, keeping her eyes trained on their feet that are now visible between their bodies.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry,” Ali answers in a small voice.

“Is my voice that bad?” Ashlyn asks trying to lighten the mood, which seems to work when she hears Ali laugh and look up slightly. The blonde brings her hands to Ali’s cheeks and wipes her tears away.

“I told you…it’s just been a long time,” Ali says, ducking her head again. She really doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay Ali,” the blonde says cupping her face in her hands gently.

“Please, will you look at me,” she hears the blonde speak again. Her tone is soft and soothing, and it puts Ali at some kind of ease. The brunette brings her glistening eyes up to meet Ashlyn’s gorgeous hazel ones. The blonde smiles and runs her thumb across Ali’s cheek gently, which makes the brunette smile shyly.

“You really are beautiful,” Ashlyn says looking into Ali’s eyes, moving slowly down to her lips, and back up. Ali shivers under the blonde’s gaze, and realizes she hasn’t wanted to kiss anyone as much as she wants to kiss Ashlyn right now.

So she takes the first step. Biting her bottom lip just slightly, looking up into beautiful, sensitive eyes, she waits for the blonde to make a move.

Ashlyn closes the space between their bodies so they’re flush together. She hesitates, waiting for the brunette to stop her while there’s still time. When Ali doesn’t speak up, Ashlyn closes their distance completely. When soft lips press together for the first time, neither girl is ready for what they feel inside. The butterflies have erupted into a full-blown fireworks display like you see on the Fourth of July. Their bodies are buzzing with passion and desire. When they finally break apart, their bodies remain pressed together. Ashlyn leans her forehead against Ali’s softly, their eyes still closed.

“Woah,” Ashlyn speaks first.

“Uh huh,” is Ali can bring herself to say as she tries to calm her erratic heartbeat.

When the blonde opens her eyes she sees that Ali’s are still closed and she’s breathing heavily. Ashlyn brushes her thumb across the brunette’s bottom lip, hoping Ali will open her eyes at the touch. When the brunette’s eyes flutter open, Ashlyn thinks she forget to breathe. She’s never seen a more beautiful shade of brown. Ali’s eyes are like caramel colored glass with flecks of yellow and green swirling together in harmony. Ashlyn smiles.

“Whatttt?” Ali whines cutely, ducking her head. Ashlyn pulls her face up again.

“You have beautiful eyes,” the blonde answers sincerely and kisses Ali again, catching the brunette slightly off-guard. It’s not that doesn’t welcome the kiss, it’s that she wasn’t expecting Ashlyn to want another. Ali can’t seem to convince herself, no matter what Ashlyn says or does, that the woman in front of her might actually like her.

“So do you,” is what Ali can think to say in her moment of anxiousness. The blonde definitely makes her nervous. She’s gorgeous after all.

Ashlyn kisses her again, but this time Ali is ready. The brunette brings her hand to the back of the blonde’s neck and pulls her in deeper. Ashlyn breaks out into a smile and this causes Ali to start laughing against her lips.

“If you smile, I can’t kiss you,” Ali mumbles, dragging her fingertips from the back of the blonde’s neck down the front of her chest, stopping at her tight abs. Aroused and caught off guard by the brunette’s sudden burst of confidence, Ashlyn finds herself blushing.

“Adorable,” Ali says again before connecting their lips once more. Ashlyn’s hands find the brunette’s waist, pausing at the top of her jeans, before slipping her hands under the back of Ali’s shirt. She feels the brunette jump slightly at the new touch.

“I’m sorry but,” Ashlyn pauses in between kisses, “this shirt has been teasing me all night.” Ali pulls back with a smirk.

“Oh?” the brunette asks.

“Mhm,” Ashlyn answers moving back in to take Ali’s pink lips between her own. The brunette feels fingertips dancing along her skin, causing her body to tingle all over.

Ali breaks the kiss much to Ashlyn’s disappointment, until the blonde feels herself being pushed down onto the couch. In a sitting position, Ash watches as Ali moves to straddle her waist and reconnect their lips with fever.

“God damn…” Ash mumbles out breathlessly as she feels Ali’s thighs press against her tightly. Completely lost in their moment of lustful passion, the brunette wraps her hands through Ash’s long, blonde hair as she kisses her forcefully.

Tongues are swirling together in a battle for dominance. Playful biting and nipping at each other’s lips ensues as both women feel their desire grow hotter. Ashlyn’s hands slide lower and lower with every kiss, finally coming to rest inside the brunette’s back pockets. She squeezes roughly, causing Ali to gently thrust her hips forward. The music from the speakers is long forgotten while Ali and Ash begin to make music of their own as soft, breathy moans fill the apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

“Oh fuck, oh fuck!” Ali yells out from her bedroom. The blonde sleeping soundly next to her jolts awake.

“What is it? Are you okay?” Ash asks, sitting up when she sees Ali running around the room throwing clothes on.

“Fuck, no no no, I’m sorry,” Ali whispers, seemingly to herself and not to Ashlyn.

“Ali, what is going on?” the blonde tries to ask again.

“I...I have to go!” Ali says as she locks eyes with confused hazel ones. The brunette throws on her favorite black hoodie and compression pants and rushes out her bedroom door.

Ashlyn sits up in Ali’s bed, beyond confused about what is happening. She looks over to Ali’s nightstand where the alarm clock reads: _4:43am_. She hears the front door of Ali’s apartment slam shut, and she hurries out of the bed. Wherever Ali is going, she’s going to make sure the brunette is safe.

Ashlyn pulls on some clothes and rushes out the door after Ali. Much to her gratitude, she sees Ali’s white BMW crossover speeding out of the parking lot and down the road. Ash jumps in her Jeep and hits the gas.

She keeps her distance from Ali’s car, not wanting to spook her. She’s never seen a woman run out of her own apartment before after a night of hooking up. She smiles at the memory of their night together.

_“Fuck Ash,” the brunette says through gritted teeth as long, slim fingers pump into her at a quickening pace. Ashlyn doesn’t slow down, and leans forward to capture Ali’s swollen lips in a kiss. Ali grips onto the blonde’s naked back, feeling the muscles ripped under her fingers._

_“You are so hot,” the blonde says after breaking apart._

_“Uhhh, fuck fuck fuck, I’m gunna…” the brunette stutters through waves of ecstasy._

_“Mmm, come for me Ali,” Ash says in a seductive whisper._

_Ali’s eyes clench and her jaw drops open as the intensity of her orgasm rushes through her body. Her hand that was gripping Ashlyn’s back falls limply to the side as the rest of her body trembles and shakes. The blonde leaves her fingers inside while the pleasure subsides._

_“Well shit,” Ali breathes out, eyes still closed. Ashlyn leans forward again and kisses Ali’s cheek sweetly. The brunette opens her eyes, smiling up at the blonde who is hovering over top of her._

_“How was that?” Ashlyn asks with a smirk._

_“How about I just show you instead?” the brunette answers playfully, pushing Ashlyn onto her back and climbing on top._

She’s only been driving about ten minutes when she sees Ali’s car pull into the parking lot of the Maryland Soccer Plex.

“Interesting…” Ash says to herself. She watches as Ali gets out of her car and runs underneath the bleachers. Ash moves quickly and climbs out of her Jeep, closing the door quietly. She takes the brunette’s path and, when she doesn’t see her under the bleachers, she thinks Ali has just disappeared into thin air.

That’s when she sees the hole in the fence. She climbs over and under the metal beams and pushes the broken fence to one side, wiggling her way through. She’s about to call out for Ali until she sees the brunette hunched over on the field, sobbing hysterically. The woman looks completely shattered as she pounds her fists into the perfectly manicured grass field.

As Ashlyn walks quietly to Ali, her heart breaks more and more for brunette. She has no idea what happened, but whatever it was, she can tell it hit the woman hard. She’s just a few feet away when she hears Ali’s broken voice whisper, “I’m sorry Kyle, I’m so sorry.”

“Ali?” Ash whispers out carefully. At the sound of her voice, Ali whips around, shocked to see the blonde standing before her.

“Are you okay?” Ashlyn asks gently, bending down so she’s eye level with Ali.

But Ali can’t even squeak out an answer before she starts sobbing again. Ash rushes to her side and pulls the smaller girl into her. She holds her tightly, rocking them back and forth and whispering sweet words into Ali’s ear.

“Shhh…you’re okay babe,” the blonde says softly. Ali sniffles, the tears slowing down now.

“H-He’s gone…m-my…he’s…” Ali can’t even make out a full sentence with how belligerent she is.

“Shhh, it’s okay Al,” the blonde speaks again, letting Ali know she’s here for her.

“M-My b-brother…” Ali cries softly in Ashlyn’s arms, and the blonde’s eyes widen at the girls admission. She feels the brunette shaking in her arms and knows that whatever this is, it’s not good.

“It’s okay, come on, let’s get you home,” Ashlyn says gently as she helps Ali get to her feet. The brunette lets Ashlyn carry her weight back to their cars.

“We can get your car tomorrow,” the blonde says as she puts Ali in her passenger seat. The brunette sinks down into the seat and lets the tears slip from her eyes and down her cheeks.

Ashlyn gets into the driver’s seat and places a delicate hand on Ali’s thigh. She jumps slightly when the brunette speaks, not expecting her to talk when she’s this upset.

“My brother’s dead…” Ali whispers, and Ash isn’t sure if it’s even intended for her own ears. She squeezes the brunette’s thigh lightly and moves to take Ali’s hand in her own. Teary eyes lock on hazel ones, and Ashlyn brings the other woman’s hand to her lips.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Ash says quietly. Ali’s eyes stay trained on the blonde.

“I haven’t told anyone in five years…” Ali says steadily. She’s afraid that if she shares too much, Ashlyn will disappear from her life too, but the blonde doesn’t move.

“My brother is dead and I’m the reason why,” Ali says evenly before the tears begin to rush down her cheeks once more.

Ashlyn doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. She’s still as a ghost in the Jeep as the brunette recounts details of her greatest nightmare. When the story comes to an end, all the blonde can do is hold Ali tightly and tell her that everything will be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought you'd seen the last of me?  
> Surprise bitches! Another update. Told you I'd finish this story ;)

That night, or rather morning, Ash carries Ali into her apartment and settles her in the bed they had shared previously. As the brunette snuggles into her plush sheets, albeit with tear-stained cheeks, Ash can’t help but smile. She had noticed a shift in the air after their conversation, and can’t help but wonder if Ali sensed it too.

It suddenly feels easier to breathe around each other, like the tension isn’t so suffocating anymore. They hadn’t even realized it was there before, but now that Ali’s heart is free and the guilt has been unlocked, they realize just how powerful it was.

“Ashlyn,” a tiny voice whispers from under the fluffy white mound of blankets. The blonde stands, making her way to kneel in front of Ali. A slightly tan hand slithers out from under the covers, wriggling its way to Ashlyn’s cheek. The blonde giggles softly at Ali’s childlike nature, and closes her eyes when she feels the brunette’s thumb tracing her jawline.

“What’s up,” Ashlyn whispers back with a small smile playing on her lips, eyes still closed. She’s relishing in the tender moment, letting the warm glow of the morning sun dance across her face.

“I never thanked you for earlier,” the brunette mumbles sleepily, which Ashlyn finds completely adorable. Opening her eyes, hazel meet sparkling caramel orbs.

“I have heard good things about my pillowtalk to be honest,” the blonde teases, knowing it will get a rise out of the brunette.

“Ash!” Ali exclaims, shoving the blonde lightly before burying her own face in her hands. “You know that isn’t what I meant.”

“I know, but your reaction was worth it,” Ash says with a small laugh. She shuffles on her knees closer to Ali’s bed so she can rest her elbows on the edge. The shift causes the brunette to peak one eye out between her fingers. Ashlyn raises an eyebrow at the girl’s antics and reaches for Ali’s hands.

The brunette sighs and lets Ashlyn uncover her eyes. She shifts to sit up a little higher in bed, wanting a better view of the beautiful hazel eyes that are staring down at her.

“Well…” Ali finally begins to speak, “…you weren’t wrong…it is good,” she mumbles with a shy smile, pulling the covers up to her eyes, suddenly afraid of how vulnerable she feels.

The action only causes the blonde to laugh at the cuteness unfolding before her.

“What was that beautiful?” Ash begins to say, “I didn’t quite hear you?” Ali feels the blonde pulling at the covers, bringing them away from her face. She remains still and closes her eyes, hoping she can just disappear.

Ashlyn, however, is intrigued by the sudden silence on Ali’s part. She finds the brunette to be comparable to a book. When she’s open, it’s easy to read between every letter and word and sentence. It’s easy to hang on to what’s written on each page. But when she’s closed, all the pages inside become blank. Suddenly everything you’ve read doesn’t matter anymore. This only pushes the blonde’s efforts further. She wants to read Ali’s entire story, no matter how many paper cuts she may receive along the way.

“Will you open those pretty eyes for me?” the blonde asks softly. She figures comfort is the way to the brunette’s heart, so she remains gentle.

She reaches a hand out and lifts the brunette’s chin gently, hoping to bring Ali out of her shy moment.

And it works. Slowly, but surely, Ali opens her eyes, which lock onto the blonde sitting in front of her.

“There we go, much better,” Ash says with a dimpled smile, one that always makes Ali smile in return. After a moment of silence between the two, Ali finds her voice.

“How am I this lucky to have met you?” she says earnestly. A blush spreads across the blonde’s cheeks, and Ali is quick to notice. She playfully pinches at the woman’s dimple, which causes the blonde to giggle and shrivel up in bashfulness.

“Mhm, how do you like being put on the spot?” Ali asks, and then sticks her tongue out at Ash.

“Okay okay fine, I see your point,” the blonde chuckles softly. “But make me a deal…”

“Ugh, again?” Ali says while playfully rolling her eyes. “You know what happens when we make deals…” They both laugh, a twinkle present in their eyes as they lock gazes.

Ashlyn presses on. “Come on, make me a deal,” she says in between laughs.

“Fine,” Ali says rolling her eyes at the blonde once again.

“So you agree to the deal?” Ash says, eyeing the brunette with a smirk.

“Yeah sure, whatever you say Ash,” Ali remarks quickly, not thinking about what she’s saying. She was too focused on just getting to what the deal actually consisted of.

“You haven’t even heard the deal yet, and you’ve already agreed…” the blonde says with a mischievous smile. Ali finally processes what Ash has just said and sees the glimmer in the blonde’s eyes.

“Ash…” Ali begins wearily.

“Oh please, I’m teasing you,” she replies. “Here’s the deal…are you listening?”

“I’m listening Ashlyn,” the brunette says, patience growing thin with anticipation. She wrings her hands together, waiting.

“Are you sure?” Ash says. “Because this is very important. I need your full attention.”

“Ashlyn…” Ali warns.

“Okay okay, sheesh woman,” the blonde finally says. “Here’s the deal…”

XXXXXXXXXXX

Hours later, after the morning sun has broken through the curtains completely, and is spreading a radiant light through the bedroom, both women are intertwined in each other’s arms and legs and disheveled bed sheets. Wild blonde locks tangled harmoniously with soft brunette waves. The steady pumping of heart beats and brain waves, the soft breaths in and out, the fluttering of eyelids, the sweet dreams, all telling of the moment Ali and Ash had shared just several hours ago.  

The alarm clock on Ali’s nightstand reads: _1:16pm._

Soft, contented hums pull the brunette from her peaceful slumber. Ali can feel the blonde’s even breaths on the back of her neck, which are sending chills up and down her bare spine. She shifts slightly, suddenly feeling surrounded by Ashlyn’s warmth. A comforting sensation to say the least, Ali wants nothing more than to stay in this moment forever. With her eyes still closed, the brunette gently grips Ashlyn’s wrist and pulls the woman’s arm up to her chest. She gingerly kisses over each of the blonde’s knuckles. She kisses the back of her hand. She kisses the inside of the blonde’s palm. She kisses the inside of the woman’s wrist, and down her arm until she finally hears her.

“Mmm babeeee…what’re you doing,” the voice is muffled and sleepy, and Ali thinks it’s all incredibly adorable and sexy at the same time. She also doesn’t miss the term of endearment that slips from the blonde’s tongue.

“Saying good morning…or uh…good afternoon actually,” the brunette responds quietly, while she continues to leave soft kisses on the blonde’s arm.

“Mm…mornin,” Ash barely gets out between yawns. At this though, Ali rolls over to face the blonde, wanting so desperately to see hazel eyes.

When Ali does roll over, the blonde quickly buries her face into the crook of her neck, causing the brunette to smile. She instinctually wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s bare shoulders and rubs soothing circles on her skin. Soft sighs escape the blonde’s lips when she feels Ali leave a gentle kiss on her temple.

“Hey,” Ali whispers, even though she knows Ash is already awake. The blonde finally pulls away and looks up at the brunette.

“Oh good, you’ve joined us,” Ali teases.

“Sorry, you’re comfy,” the blonde remarks through another yawn. She smiles at her own admission.

“That’s okay, I just wanted your eyes to be the first thing I saw when I woke up,” Ali says like the giant ball of cheese she is learning to become. Ashlyn smiles.

“I’m genuinely happy that they can be,” the blonde says softly before leaning up and pressing a chaste kiss to Ali’s lips.

“Mmm…” Ali hums into the kiss. When it breaks, she speaks again. “You know what I’m genuinely happy about?”

“What’s that beautiful?” Ash asks.

“Last night,” Ali says confidently, a smirk tugging at her lips. Her eyes are filled with mischief and wonderment as she inches closer to the blonde.

Ashlyn wasn’t sure they could get any closer, seeing as they were already skin-to-skin, but man, was she wrong.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Ali straddles Ashlyn’s right leg, letting her hands wander from the blonde’s chest to her taught stomach. The brunette runs a fingertip through each valley of individual muscle, watching as Ashlyn squirms beneath her.

Ali falls forward, resting her forearms on Ash’s stomach as she leaves a trail of wet kisses from nipple to nipple. The brunette can feel the blonde’s hips wriggling about as she teases and licks the pink buds before her.

“Al…” the blonde says in a breathy voice.

“Shhh…” Ali responds, bringing one finger to the blonde’s lips to silence her. The brunette moves on from the woman’s rock-hard nipples, kissing up the blonde’s neck and tugging her earlobe between tongue and teeth. She hears Ashlyn’s breath hitch, knowing this drives her crazy. Sucking gently, and tracing the outer shell of the blonde’s ear with her tongue, Ali moves her right hand down to where Ash needs her the most.

She trails her fingertips down the blonde’s leg, her short nails grazing the goosebumps that have erupted across soft skin. Ash feels like she’s going to burst with so many different sensations happening at once. While Ali continues kissing her way from the blonde’s ears to her neck to her lips, she’s also trailing a hand across sensitive, inner-thigh, skin.

“Mmm…f-fuckk Ali,” the blonde says after feeling delicate fingers slide through her slick, hot center.

The brunette takes Ashlyn’s lips into a deep kiss, sliding her tongue inside in heated passion. The blonde moans deeply, feeling the brunette’s tongue work against her own.

“You’re so…fucking…sexy,” Ali says breathlessly in between kisses. She continues to slide her fingers in an up and down motion, coating them in the blonde’s juices.

“P-Please, I need you,” she hears Ash moan.

Ali doesn’t respond verbally, but instead lets her fingers do the talking. She carefully, but with a certain amount of pressure, thrusts two fingers inside of the blonde, and curls them ever so slightly when she’s about two knuckles deep.

Ashlyn’s eyes screw shut and her jaw hangs open at the feeling of being dominated by the brunette. Her fingertips and toes are tingling as the brunette continues to thrust in and out in a rhythmic motion.

“Uhhh,” the blonde moans, the feeling of being completely filled up shaking her to the core. “Ali, oh god, d-don’t stop.”

Ali smirks at the blonde’s statement. She wouldn’t dream of stopping now, just minutes, or seconds away from Ashlyn’s intense release.

“Come for me babe,” Ali whispers in the blonde’s ear, lips grazing the outer shell. She smiles when she feels Ashlyn shudder, and decides to leave a kiss there.

Fingers pumping furiously, curling upward to hit the blonde’s g-spot with every thrust, Ali adds constant pressure to the woman’s clit with her thumb. Ashlyn’s moans become steadier and choppier as she fights through the intense rippling waves of her impending orgasm.

“Oh, oh, oh…Al, s-shit,” the blonde moans out quickly.

“That’s it, come for me,” Ali says again, coaxing the blonde as best she can.

“F-Fuck, don’t stop, I, I’m gu-gunna…” the blonde’s words are lost after that.

Only Ali will know what Ashlyn’s breathy moans and unrecognizable string of curse words sounds like when she’s standing on that edge, just before the drop. The moment before everything turns into fantastic color, exploding from the darkness. Only Ali will know what that out of body experience is like for Ashlyn, the moment everything begins to spin and twirl like chaotic kaleidoscopes. And when the rush of euphoria begins to make its descent into a world of neutral colors again, only Ali will know what that moment sounds like to Ashlyn.

XXXXXXXXXXX

As both women lay spent and sweaty, tangled in each other’s arms, they can’t help but think back to the deal they made a few hours ago. A new emotion fills the room, and the air between them is thick, but this time it isn’t with tension.

The air is thick with trust.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_“…here’s the deal…” the blonde says genuinely._

_“Okay, I’m ready,” Ali answers._

_“Trust me,” Ash says simply._ _“Trust you?” Ali asks with questioning look._

_“Yes…trust me,” is all the blonde says again. “That’s the deal, I want you to trust me.”_

_Ali ponders the blonde’s request for several seconds, feeling like there’s more to this deal than she’s understanding. Ashlyn seems to sense her reluctance, so she jumps in again._

_“Al, I know you’ve been through a lot in the past. Hell, you’re the strongest woman I know and we just met. I know it might seem selfish of me, or too forward, but I want you to trust me with your whole heart. I promise if you do, I will do everything in my power to protect you, keep you safe, and make you happy.”_

_When Ash is finished with her emotional confession, and request, she takes one of Ali’s hands and holds it close to her heart. They lock eyes, hope and compassion and…trust…present in hazel and brown orbs. A small tear escapes the brunette’s left eyes, and Ashlyn reaches up with a delicate thumb to wipe it away._

_“Okay, you have a deal,” Ali says like it’s the simplest thing in the world._

_Sealed with a sweet kiss, the brunette and her blonde fall into the sweetest sleep._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! We're getting closer to another "big reveal" in the story so make sure you stick with me and let me know if you're enjoying it! Sorry this chapter is a little short. I was really busy today, but I promised you guys an update this week.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still here! Still alive! A short chapter update setting the stage for big things to come.

The two women spend the next month wrapped up in one another, figuratively and literally.

 

From any knowing person’s point of view, Ali and Ash had not been together long enough to be considered “in a relationship,” but the immediate bond the two had initially felt was only strengthened further when their promise to _trust_ was solidified. That night had changed everything for both women.

 

Ashlyn had previously spent her days surrounded by everything coffee. It was her shop after all; she had to be the one making sure everything continued to run just as smoothly as when she opened the shop six years ago. She couldn’t deny that business was booming; being one of those low-key, quaint coffee shops tucked away from the hustle and bustle of mainstream DC, her shop quickly became a main stop for coffee lovers who also loved a relaxed environment to enjoy their morning brew.

 

And of course, her coffee was killer.

 

This was something Ali had grown very fond of. Mornings spent with Ashlyn, walking hand in hand down the sunlit streets to her coffee shop, held promises of many hopeful days to come. And besides, how could she deny a beautiful woman with great coffee?

 

So it had quickly become their new routine, even when they spent nights apart. The first time Ali had found Ash on the other side of her apartment door at approximately 6:35am she thought about slamming the door in her face and crawling back into bed for several more hours. But she didn’t, and now finds the gesture completely sweet and endearing. The blonde shows up at her front door around the same time every morning they don’t spend together, waits patiently as Ali pouts around her living room pulling her sleepy self together, and smiles warmly when the brunette finally sinks into her outstretched arms.

 

It will never matter how many times Ali stomps around her apartment in a sleep-drunk daze while Ashlyn waits in the door with open arms. The blonde will always wait, and continue waiting until she is physically unable. She finds their newfound routine oddly romantic. When Ali finally sinks into her arms each morning, Ashlyn thinks nothing will ever be better than these moments they share together, hidden from the outside world.

 

This morning is no different from the others spent apart. The blonde gently knocks on Ali’s door letting her know she’s here. Ali greets her with a sleepy smile and trudges around her living room looking for her other shoe. Ash finds the whole scene adorable, and tries her best to stifle the giggle that is ready to erupt.

 

“You knowwww I hate mornings,” Ali mumbles sleepily and all Ash can do is smile and continue watching the scene unfold.

 

“I know beautiful,” Ash answers simply, accustomed to their morning discussions of how much Ali hates waking up. Which is kind of ironic given that the brunette used to wake up in the middle of the night, completely restless, to play soccer with Kyle’s ghost. I guess that’s another thing she has Ash to thank for.

 

“I just, hmph, I can’t,” Ali forces mismatched words from her mouth and watches as Ash stands with her arms open.

 

The brunette makes her way forward in a slow shuffle and lets herself melt in Ashlyn’s embrace. The blonde squeezes her tightly and then slings an arm around her shoulder.

 

“Ready to go?” the blonde asks Ali sweetly.

 

“Mhhmm,” Ali answers with a weak nod. “Need coffeeeee,” she says again through her cute mumble.

 

“Alright my sleepyhead, let’s get going,” and with that the women make their way out of Ali’s apartment and out into the crisp morning air.

 

XXXXXXXXXX

 

As they enter the coffee shop a thought crosses Ali’s mind. It’s something she’s been wondering for awhile now…or more so since she first met Ash all those weeks ago. Ali can’t help but ignore a certain familiarity she feels when she’s with Ash, especially when they’re in her coffee shop together.

 

“Hey Ash, can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure beautiful, what’s up?” the blonde answers.

 

“Was this shop always yours?” Ali asks quizzically. This gets the blonde’s attention and she turns to fully face the brunette.

 

“What do you mean?” Ash asks. “It wasn’t handed down to me if that’s what you thought…”

 

“No, no, it isn’t that,” Ali back-peddles, afraid she’s struck a nerve with the blonde. “I know how hard you work babe.” She slips that term of endearment in, along with a soothing touch to Ash’s hand in hopes to calm the blonde down.

 

It worked. It always does.

 

Ash sighs and runs her free hand through wavy blonde locks. “I’m sorry, I know you didn’t mean it like that,” she says and leans over to kiss Ali on the cheek.

 

“It’s okay, really, you don’t even have to answer my question,” Ali says, attempting to move past the somewhat awkward conversation.

 

“No, it’s okay,” Ash says. “To answer your question, no, it hasn’t always been mine.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Ali says after getting a very brief response from the blonde. She was hoping for more backstory, but maybe it’s a touchy subject.

 

The blonde sighs again, but this time she pulls back from Ali’s touch.

 

“The space I mean…it hasn’t always been mine,” Ash says steadily. “It didn’t even use to be a coffee shop.”

 

Ali wracks her brain, trying to remember anything she can. She’s lived in the DC area her entire life. She should remember…

 

“When did you buy this place again?” the brunette asks quickly.

 

“Eh…first look through was around six years ago,” the blonde says. “It’s sort of a funny story. I wasn’t even considering the place, but my buddy tagged along and practically forced me into buying it. We always joked about opening a coffee shop together one day. Guess everything happens for a reason.” The blonde chuckles lightly, which is ironic because she looks mildly uncomfortable.

 

As does Ali, who feels like all of the air has been sucked out of her lungs. The room feels like it’s spinning, like she’s on a merry-go-round and nobody will let her off. Moments in time are flying to the forefront of her memory in flashes of bright color.

 

_Loud buzzing and ink splatter and artwork fill the small space. The chatter of eager, and slightly nervous, customers bounce from one wall to the other, creating a box of voices. Ali’s foot shakes nervously, bouncing up and down in jittery unawareness, until Kyle places his hand on her knee._

It can’t be.

 

“Your friend, did he end up as your business partner?” Ali asks with shakiness evident in her voice. The blonde must not fully notice because she answers after only a short pause.

 

“Uhm, no, no he never did end up as my partner,” Ashlyn says softly. Ali knows she should drop it, but something inside of her is telling her to keep going.

 

“That’s too bad,” she says. “What happened?” Ashlyn freezes at the brunette’s question. Her eyes wide, locking onto brown orbs, silently pleading for Ali to excuse that last one.

 

But unfortunately, the reprieve doesn’t come.

 

“Uh, he uhm…” the blonde pauses, and it’s then that Ali knows for sure.

 

“He died…didn’t he?” Ali questions, shifting uncomfortably. Ashlyn’s whole body slinks into her chair. It’s been so long since she’s talked to anyone about him, and suddenly she’s feeling an intense amount of guilt for keeping him locked away for so long. It’s been five years.

 

“Uhm yeah…he did,” the blonde answers while trying to remain calm and unaffected by all of the emotions swirling around in her gut. “I moved to DC from Orlando, and we just happened to meet at this space,” Ashlyn says while motioning her arms to the now, coffee shop. “It was this killer tattoo studio…we were best friends for three years.”

 

Ali nods her head, just listening. She wants to make sure she hears everything clearly as the blonde speaks.

 

“When the studio moved locations, we joked about buying the space and turning it into like a super cool, underground-style coffee shop,” the blonde laughs at the irony of it all. “He really wanted it; I had no idea what I was doing. And just months after buying the space, he was gone.” The blonde ducks her head, trying to keep her emotions in check.

 

Ali sits in complete shock, still listening. She isn’t sure whether to be angry that Ashlyn hasn’t figured it out yet, or maybe Ashlyn _had_ figured it out, but never said anything. Ali isn’t sure which is the lesser of two evils. So she sits patiently, and continues listening.

 

“I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to sell the damn thing immediately because it just reminded me that this was once _ours_ , you know? I never intended for this to be just _mine_.” At this rate, Ashlyn has tears sliding down her cheeks. The memories all too real, the wounds never properly healed from five years of heartache.

 

Ali reaches out her hand and wipes the blonde’s tears. She doesn’t realize that she too, has tears in her eyes. Neither does Ashlyn.

 

“But I kept it for him and his friends and his family. I kept it because I made him a deal.” Those words send Ali over the edge. It all feels like a big joke, like someone is going to jump out from behind the counters and tell her she’s been a part of “Punk’d.” Ali immediately pulls her hand away from Ashlyn’s cheek. The blonde can’t help but notice the brunette’s sudden shift in attitude, and when she finally looks back up, she’s met with teary brown eyes.

 

“Al, I’m so sorry,” she says, “please don’t cry because of me.” Ali meets hazel eyes.

 

“It not because of you,” the brunette whispers.

 

“Oh my god, I am so insensitive,” Ashlyn begins. “I’m sure this reminds you of your brother…shit I feel like the biggest idiot.” Just as the blonde moves to stand up and wrap Ali in a hug to calm the woman down, the brunette is already preoccupied and rooting through her purse.

 

“Al, Ali what are you doing?” Ashlyn asks in a rush.

 

“What was your friend’s name Ash?” Ali asks with a bit of bite in her tone. It’s not on purpose, or to hurt the blonde’s feelings. She’s just having a hard time believing that this is all happening to her. Just this morning she thought her life was moving forward in a positive direction, one that wasn’t consumed with guilt or Kyle’s absence 24-7.

 

The brunette’s change in tone causes Ashlyn to flinch. She’s only trying to be respectful and comforting, so she isn’t sure why Ali is chewing her head off when clearly they’re both in an equal amount of emotional pain.

 

“His name was-“ the blonde begins to bark back at Ali, but just as the name is on the tip of her tongue, she becomes silent.

 

That’s when she looks at Ali. _Really_ , looks at Ali. Her flowing brown locks twisted into a makeshift ponytail that lays softly over one shoulder. Her cinnamon colored eyes sparkle so delicately in the sunlight that’s streaming in through the coffee shop windows. The tiny freckles dotting her nose. The deep laugh lines from smiling entirely too much. The perfect white teeth. The tongue-between-the-teeth smile. The nose scrunch.

 

“Kyle,” Ashlyn finally says, looking at Ali in wonderment and awe and…sorrow. Ali smiles sadly and nods her head in affirmation.

 

“I’m sorry Ash,” the brunette says as she slides her phone across the table with a picture of her and Kyle lighting up the screen with their picture perfect, world-famous, Krieger smiles.

 

The tears run freely down Ashlyn’s face as she looks at her best friend’s face for the first time in eight years.

 

And that was all the proof Ali needed. 

 

"Kyle can never be replaced, I know," Ali says softly, lifting the blonde's chin so their eyes meet in a teary, heartfelt gaze, "but, maybe this place doesn't have to be just _yours_ anymore." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter! I feel like I laid a lot on you guys in a short amount of words haha :) Was it too much? Not enough? Just let me know!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys...this got so weird so fast. Hang on my friends haha ;P

A soft breeze streams in from the open living room windows and dances across two tired bodies cuddled closely together on the plush leather couch.

 

The gentle flow of wind, peculiarly enough, and only if your imagination allows, can often feel reminiscent of an old friend’s touch.

 

The slight tickle that glides across the blonde’s cheek startles her awake. She only jolts just slightly; not enough to wake a very sleepy, and very cuddly Ali, whose arm is wrapped securely around Ashlyn’s back. With her free hand she reaches up wipes her cheek, as if trying to rid herself of what felt like an unwanted, eerie touch. Anxiety begins to bubble in the pit of her stomach. The blonde wills her eyes to close and sleep to come, but she can’t shake the feeling that someone is standing over them.

 

Watching.

 

Waiting.

 

Ashlyn, frozen in place, lets her eyes adjust to the darkened living room before scanning the area. She sees the open windows, Ali’s coffee table and their empty cups, a dark TV, their feet tangled together under the blanket, and-

 

“Jesus!” the blonde all but jumps out of her skin at the sight of him. Her attempt at a whisper-yell goes off without a hitch seeing that Ali is still dead to the world.

 

“Hey bitch,” the male figure greets back with that regular ole sassy attitude he’s always had.

 

“What…h-how…are you…” the blonde stammers, and the male figure giggles at her inability to speak.

 

“I would have settled for a ‘wow, great to see you,’ but this will do,” he says teasingly. The blonde still can’t find the words to voice all of the emotions she’s currently feeling. She feels confused, hopeful, sad, and slightly terrified all at once.

 

Before Ashlyn can respond, she hears his voice again.

 

“I see you’ve adjusted nicely,” he says playfully, glancing down at the brunette who is cuddled into her.

 

“What the hell is happening…” Ashlyn whispers, intending for only her ears to hear it.

 

“I think I liked this welcoming better when I couldn’t understand you,” the brown-haired man retorts. Ashlyn shakes her head in an attempt to untangle her scrambled brain.

 

“S-Sorry, I just…how are you here?” she whispers, this time speaking directly to him.

 

“Don’t be silly girl, I’ve been here the whole damn time,” he waves her off as if it’s the simplest concept.

 

Ashlyn blinks, eyes wide and staring at the figure. He smiles that world-famous tongue-between-the-teeth smile and the blonde can’t help but avert her gaze to the woman asleep in her arms.

 

 _How did I never notice that,_ the blonde thinks to herself.

 

“Amazing, isn’t it?” she hears his voice again, but this time it’s much softer.

 

“Uh, mm, yeah…the resemblance…” Ashlyn responds, clearing her throat nervously.

 

“No, no, no…” the man begins to say, “…I mean yes, we look alike, but _her_ specifically.” Ash just stares at him, expression blank and unsure of what he’s trying to say.

 

“How beautiful she is,” he says gently. “Inside and out, after everything she’s been through, she’s still the same beautiful girl I left behind. It’s truly amazing.” A tear falls from the corner of his eye and onto the arm of the couch.  

 

Ashlyn can’t think of anything else better to say than, “Yes, it truly is.”

 

The blonde watches as the man glides towards the open windows. He leans his back against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. He smiles at Ashlyn, and then at the sleeping woman still tangled in the blonde’s embrace.

 

“I’m so happy for you both,” he says, trying his best to keep the tears at bay. “I wish I would’ve introduced you two sooner.”

 

There’s a brief pause as they let the replaying of words fill the silence.

 

“Speaking of, how come you never mentioned her before?” Ash asks, intensely curious as to why she didn’t know her best friend of three years had a hot sister.

 

“Because I knew this would happen,” he rolls his eyes and fake gags at the two cuddled on the couch. The blonde glares back at him playfully, wishing she could throw a pillow at him, but afraid if she tried he would vanish. Or worse. Maybe the pillow would go straight through him.

 

“But no, in all honesty, she was away at college and her entire world revolved around soccer,” he says genuinely. “I would have loved to introduce you two, but the timing never worked out.”

 

“Oh, okay,” it’s a simple answer and seems void of emotion, but it’s the only thing Ashlyn can bring herself to say at the moment. He smiles somewhat sadly and begins to awkwardly shimmy his rather large body through the living room window. Ashlyn is horrified and intrigued all at once. She watches the brunette man turn around wink over his shoulder.

 

And then he’s gone.

 

The blonde sighs heavily, leaning her head back against the arm of the couch. She closes her eyes.

 

“Hey, sleeping beauty!” she hears that familiar male voice again, calling out to her in a whisper-yell. She pops her head up and stares at the window where she sees his face.

 

He rests his muscular arms on the ledge of the window frame and leans in just slightly.

 

“You should tell her,” he says simply.

 

“Tell her what, exactly?” Ash calls back.

 

“Come on man, you know what,” he responds.

 

“She feels it too, that’s all I’m saying,” and with that he lets go of the window ledge, freefalling downward and upward into the infinite abyss of time.

 

XXXXXXXXXXX

 

The smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries invades the blonde’s senses. She’s willing herself to open her eyes and join Ali for breakfast at the table, but the soft blankets seem to suck her in further. Letting her mind drift away into dreamland, Ashlyn forgoes breakfast for now.

 

“Babe!” the blonde’s eyes to pop open with just enough time for her to see Ali flying through the air towards her.

 

Brace for impact.

 

“Oof,” the blonde lets out as all of the air quickly escapes her lungs.

 

“Good morning cutie,” Ali says cheerfully while pinching the woman’s dimple. Ashlyn can’t help but smile, even if her alarm clock was 132 lbs. of solid muscle.

 

“Mmm, morning yourself beautiful,” Ash says with a sleepy smile. She blinks her eyes a couple times as the mid-morning sunlight streams in through the bedroom windows.

 

 _That’s odd_ , she thinks.

 

But Ash loses that thought when she feels Ali lean down to place a gentle kiss to her lips. When the brunette pulls back, Ash thinks she can see little flecks of love in the smaller woman’s eyes.

 

They smile at each other knowingly as Ali straddles Ashlyn’s hips, and Ashlyn lets her fingers massage the brunette’s thighs with tender touch.

 

“We have a lot to do today, so I got breakfast all ready for us to grab and go,” Ali says, letting her hands grip the blonde’s wrists.

 

“Ugh, this is why I…think you’re amazing,” Ash says catching herself mid-slip. All she can hear are his words, _“She feels it too,”_ and thinks maybe she should’ve just let it slip. Then all of her cards would be on the table and she wouldn’t have to stress about “the perfect time” to say those three, very special words.

 

She’s pulled out of her thoughts when Ali speaks. “Well this amazing woman brewed your favorite coffee, so hurry up and get dressed.” Ashlyn watches the brunette make her way towards the bedroom door.

 

Just as she’s about to disappear down the hall and out of Ashlyn sight, the blonde calls out to her.

 

“Hey babe!”

 

“What’s up Ash?” Ali asks as she turns around, hanging onto the doorjamb.

 

“When did we move into the bedroom last night?” the blonde asks.

 

“What are you talking about?” Ali asks with a chuckle. “We slept in here all night.”

 

“What?” Ashlyn questions. And then remarks, “No we didn’t, we slept on the couch.”

 

Ali quirks an eyebrow. “Uhm…no…we didn’t Ash,” she says carefully, like her words might burst into flames.

 

“But I could’ve sworn…” Ash says, trailing off.

 

“Listen, a lot of emotions came out yesterday and you were exhausted by the end of the night,” Ali says. “We came home and got into bed, you must’ve been so tired that it affected your memory too,” Ali teases and sticks her tongue out at Ash to lighten the mood.

 

Ash forces a small laugh out, but in the back of her mind she’s thinking, _what in the actual hell._

“Hey, you okay?” Ali asks.

 

“Oh…yeah I’m good,” Ash says with a smile. “I’ll be out in two seconds, just let me throw on some clothes.”

 

Ali smiles back at Ash, and makes her way down the hall to gather their breakfasts and her purse.

 

Ash races around the bedroom quickly, throwing together some semblance of an outfit. She feels scatterbrained, and knows her outfit resembles as much. Once she’s got her life somewhat together, she heads to the living room.

 

She finds Ali sitting on the couch staring at what looks to be a photograph of some sort.

 

“Al?” the blonde asks, trying to get the brunette’s attention.

 

“You’ll never believe it,” the brunette says slowly, looking up to meet hazel eyes.

 

“Al, you’re freaking me out a little bit,” Ash answers calmly, but concerned. She reaches for her coffee that’s sitting on the table between them. “What is that?” The blonde gestures to the picture held tightly in Ali’s hands.

 

Ali lays the picture on the table and pushes it toward Ashlyn for the blonde to see.

 

“That…that can’t be, right?” Ashlyn asks cautiously.

 

“I don’t know Ash, I really don’t know,” Ali answers in shock.

 

The two women stare down at the picture in awe.

 

They’re cuddled on the couch under Ali’s blanket, wearing the same clothes they had on last night.

 

It all seems too eerily familiar.

 

“Could…could you have been right?” Ali asks somewhat alarmed by the photograph that was left on her windowsill this morning.

 

“I thought it was a dream, or that I was going crazy,” Ash says quickly. “Grief makes people see weird things…like their dead friends…or brother in your case.”

 

“But…there’s a picture,” Ali says slowly.

 

“Uh huh…and it looks exactly like my ‘dream,’” the blonde answers.

 

Out of curiosity, Ashlyn grabs the photo and turns it over.

 

There’s loopy script written in what looks like black sharpie.

 

It reads:

 

_Please, tell her._

_xoxo bitch,_

_KK_

“Ashlyn…” Ali asks, her voice thick with worry and question.

 

The blonde turns her attention towards Ali.

 

“I have to tell you something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think the twist is going to be!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you've noticed from the pervious chapter, this story took off on a crazy tangent. I only hope that the continuity of it all makes sense. I wrote this story chapter by chapter. I had no final vision for this piece when I started it. So if there's something that really makes no sense, I apologize! I tried to weave it together ;)

“You have to tell me something?” Ali repeats back to Ashlyn. The blonde nods her head rapidly and quickly grabs the brunette’s wrist and tugs her towards the door.

 

“Ashlyn where are we going?” Ali yells out as she’s being tugged forward by the blonde.

 

“Can’t…tell you…” the blonde huffs as she’s practically running down the street. It’s moments like these, when she’s being drug around by a seemingly crazy blonde woman, that Ali is thankful she’s physically fit.

 

She lets Ash lead her down the chipped sidewalk towards a part of town that she doesn’t frequent often. Not that it’s a bad area, because it’s actually the opposite. There’s just something about it that causes Ali to stay away. It’s almost as if an outside force is prohibiting her from exploring that particular part of town by herself.

 

The brunette begins to feel like something bad is going to happen. She feels on edge after being pulled along by Ashlyn, who won’t tell her what’s going on, and looks as if she’s just escaped from prison. She has a weird glint in her eye and Ali can practically see the anxiety flowing out of her pores.

 

“Babe, can we please stop,” Ali pleads, letting the term of endearment slip from her tongue easily. She knows that will get the blonde’s attention.

 

“I’m sorry Ali, this is…important,” she replies. “We’re almost there.”

 

As the pair turn the corner Ali becomes fixated on what’s sitting right before them.

 

A cemetery.

 

“Ash…” she breathes, and starts to apply resistance to the blonde’s forward tugging.

 

“It’ll all make sense when we get there, please!” Ashlyn says exasperatedly, pulling Ali at an even quicker pace. When they’re finally standing before the big iron gates, Ali feels her body start to tingle.

 

“Ash, this is sorta freaking me out,” Ali says slowly, glancing at the blonde who is bent over huffing and puffing.

 

The blonde stands up tall and says, “Remember that deal we made about trust?”

 

Ali nods, of course she remembers. “Trust and follow,” Ash says as she takes off through the gates.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Remember when I said I needed to tell you something?” the blonde begins.

 

Ali nods. “Well, I need to show you something, too.” The blonde weaves through the intricately carved headstones, walking a path that seems all too familiar to Ali. A chill runs through the air and down the brunette’s spine as they inch closer to their final stop.

 

The blonde pauses and turns around to face Ali. “Before I show you, I need you to listen,” she says and the brunette nods in understanding.

 

“You’re so special to me Ali, I hope you know just how much you mean to me,” the blonde says. Ali smiles and nods her heads, a blush forming across her cheeks. “After we made that deal several weeks ago, our bond has strengthened to a degree I can’t express in words. I vowed to keep you safe and do everything in my power to make you happy.” A tear slides down the brunette’s cheek. This all feels too powerful. “When you told me about Kyle, you were so broken. You didn’t want to lose him.”

 

Ashlyn steps away from the headstone she is guarding and suddenly everything becomes much clearer.

 

“But Kyle isn’t the one you should be afraid to lose,” the blonde says as Ali drops to her knees and crawls towards the beautiful, shiny, marble headstone.

 

“I-I don’t understand…there’s no date of death…and…” Ali says as she runs her hands across the name bold in black.

 

Ashlyn rests her hand on Ali’s shoulder, and the brunette looks up at her expectantly.

 

“That’s because it hasn’t happened yet,” Ashlyn answers. “You still have time Ali. Don’t let yourself be lost forever.”

 

The brunette looks back at the headstone, a horrifying glimpse at what could be.

 

She has to be ready.

 

“But…what about…us,” the brunette says as she stands and lets the tears fall from her eyes more freely. Ashlyn comes and wraps her arms around Ali and pulls her into a tight hug. She places a kiss to the side of the smaller woman’s head and pulls back just enough so Ali can see her. The brunette brings her hand up to gently touch Ashlyn cheek.

 

“I’ll always be by your side Al,” Ashlyn says and pulls the brunette into a kiss. Their lips dance together one last time, feeling every emotion a final goodbye could entail. Tears fall from both pairs of eyes; faces pressed so closely together they can’t tell whose tears belong to whom. But they don’t care. They let their tongues melt together in passion, with salt water dripping onto their lips, healing their open wounds.

 

Bodies held together with the strength of emotional superglue, they let their foreheads rest against one another.

 

Hazel eyes meet cinnamon orbs for one final time.

 

“I love you Ali,” Ashlyn says softly, placing one last kiss on the brunette’s lips.

 

“I-I…I lo-lo…” the brunette tries to get the words out, but she’s suddenly unable.

 

“Ali?” the blonde questions, concern in her voice.

 

“I lo-love…” she tries one final time.

 

“Ali?” Ashlyn says again, louder this time.

 

She had hoped for the sweetest of goodbyes. One filled with whispered “I love you’s” and red-hot kisses and promises to remember forever.

 

But all Ashlyn received was an “almost” happily ever after.

 

And like a flash of light, both women disappeared into thin air.

 

The cemetery sleeping peacefully, untouched by the outside world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if there's anything big that really doesn't make sense. I sort of expect that some little details might not, just because I can't really go back to previous chapters and change things. You guys would never know, even if I did! Much love for reading and commenting!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. Sorry it seemed to end abruptly. But it got sorta twisty and I just felt that I should end it before I got in over my head. With that said, I would consider a sequel of sorts. There's definitely more of this story to write (what happens to ali and ash now that she's awake, how the people in ali's life survived the five years without her, etc). I just didn't think it belonged with this specific set of chapters.

“Ali,” she hears a soft voice whisper, but cannot see past the darkness clouding her vision to make out who’s talking. She only hears the pitter patter of excited shuffling, like and army of raindrops dancing across a tin roof. It’s suddenly much louder when another voice speaks.

 

“Alex, can you hear me?” this voice is deeper, but there’s a feminine quality to it. It sounds concerned, but most importantly, it sounds familiar. Ali is trying to imagine who it is behind that particular voice. It’s right on the tip of her brain. If only she could open her eyes and see, once and for all.

 

“Come on Al, you can do it,” the first voice speaks again with a certain finality that both scares Ali, and gives her hope.

 

This voice gives the brunette the courage to push past the point of no return. She doesn’t want to spend her life traveling through a world of timeless imagination. She knows rooted deep in the confines of her memory, that she has people who love her. She wants to wake up from the world of confusion and guilt that she has been living in for five years and be reunited with something familiar.

 

She wants to wake up for them.

 

“Hold on,” the soft voice speaks again, “I…I think she’s…she’s waking up.”

 

The shuffling is louder now, than ever before. Buzzing and beeping are shrieking in the background. She hears the sound of doors opening and slamming shut. The muffled chatter of, she counts in her head, six people or so.

 

She’s fighting with everything she can. Her nerve endings are on a rollercoaster ride of _feeling_ , and it’s calming and uncomfortable all at once. She feels something soft beneath her arms and hands. She feels something plush behind her head, propping her up just slightly she notices. She feels hard plastic running through her nose and mouth. She feels a pinch crawling under the skin of her right hand. The ebb and flow of liquids that are recirculating through her veins.

 

And then, she become lighter. She feels the fog that she has been living in for the past five years lifting. The heaviness that was weighing on her heart is lessening; only now, a steady and calm “thump thump” can be heard around the room.

 

“Sweetheart?” a different female voice calls out hesitantly, like if she speaks too quickly or too harshly Ali might lunge at her.

 

This voice too, is familiar. She’s beginning to put the pieces of this mysterious puzzle together, her eyelids fluttering as she tries to remember how it all fits together.

 

“Shhh…just wait Deb,” a new male voice speaks with ease. He sounds so sure that everything is going to be okay. And it seems that this unknown figures certainty is just what Ali needed to finish the puzzle.

 

_Dad? Wait…Mom? Did I hear Kyle before? Come Al, pull yourself together. Just open your eyes._

She feels warmth invade her body, more specifically, her left hand. She feels as though someone has lit a match igniting a string of fireworks traveling from the palm of her hand to each fingertip.

 

She does the only thing she can.

 

She squeezes.

 

“Ali?” the very first voice she heard earlier speaks again. Ali welcomes the sound. The voice sounds like that of an old friend, of someone she must have been comfortable with. Ali feels pressure being applied to her hand. “We’re right here Al, you can open your eyes.” The voice is much stronger now than before.

 

When Ali finally opens her eyes the room erupts into hysterical sobs. Happy tears flood the entire room as disbelief washes over everyone. Even the doctors and nurses stand in shock, sniffling as fresh tears runs down their cheeks.

 

“She truly _is_ amazing,” the more feminine male voice says. “I told you.”

 

While the team of doctors and nurses tend to Ali, removing the tube in her mouth and checking to make sure everything else is stable, the brunette can only seem to focus on one thing.

 

The woman with the soft voice. She’s tall and blonde, has a beautiful sleeve of tattoos, and killer style. She’s gorgeous.

 

She’s just like Ali remembered her.

 

“A-A-Ash…” the brunette forces the words out in an extremely raspy whisper. It’s so quiet that nobody can hear the woman lying in the bed. Not even the doctors or nurses.

 

“Ashhh…” she tries again, pushing the words out as best she can. It’s just loud enough this time that it catches everyone’s attention.

 

“Ali, your voice is going to be pretty fragile right now,” one of the male doctors says in a soothing voice. “Just try and relax for now okay?”

 

But Ali can’t relax. And they begin to notice, worry etched on their faces.

 

“Ash…lyn…Ash…lyn,” Ali says through labored breaths, voice weak and raspy still. She lifts her left hand and extends it to the blonde, who looks around the room at Ali’s family and the doctors.

 

Confused, the blonde moves closer to the bed and takes Ali’s hand for the second time that day. She sits down on the edge gently, as to not bump Ali for fear of hurting her. She lets her eyes wander down the brunette’s face, which is surprisingly only slightly sunken in after years of laying in a hospital bed, being kept alive by machines. Ashlyn traces the contour of her cheeks and the hollows of her eyes. Her skin, now, a greyish tint and the freckles dotting her nose less prominent. But the color of her eyes…that deep, sparkling shade of cinnamon brown seem to only shine brighter now.

 

Ali was beautiful before the accident. And to Ashlyn, she’s still just as beautiful. She had only ever seen the brunette in pictures that Kyle had showed her when they would spend their days together in the hospital.

 

Waiting.

 

Hoping.

 

Kyle noticed Ashlyn’s demeanor shift when she would look at unseen pictures of Ali. He had planned on introducing them before, assuming that Ali got called into National Team camp, she left. But, the timing just never worked out. And now, all Ashlyn has of the "old Ali" are pictures to look through.

 

“Ashlyn?” the whisper is raspy, but still soft like velvet. The blonde directs her attention to Ali, who is looking up at her with what she swears is…love?

 

“You’re…m-more beaut…iful in…real l-l-life,” Ali tries her hardest to get the sentence out. It’s a little choppy, but Ashlyn understands and instantly smiles. For a moment, she wonders if Ali had dreamt of meeting her. 

 

“Wait, how do you know name?” the blonde asks after thinking over what Ali had just told her. She’s thankful for the compliment, but she’s 110% sure that they’ve never met. Ali didn’t even know that she existed.

 

“You…wouldn’t…be…lieve me if I t-told…you,” Ali responds shakily, but uses all of her strength to smile that world famous tongue-between-the-teeth Krieger smile.

 

“I’ve got time,” Ashlyn chuckles lightly. “I’ve waited five years to meet you. I’ll be right here, by your side when you’re ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want a sequel...or have another story idea in general ;) I'm happy to write it!


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